This morning I was directed to this article about a man whose home was ransacked because of a malicious Craigslist ad claiming everything was free for the taking. It got me thinking about what a great marketing tool the free section of Craigslist could be for Innova. Considering some of the challenges we’ve had with hiring over the years, I offer you the following potential ad titles + first lines for your entertainment:

“FREE MONEY!!! REALLY!!!” Just develop applications and stuff.

Yea yea, that one was obvious, how about…

“ENTIRE INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY COMPANY BEING LIQUIDATED! COME FILL YOUR TRUCK!” After you work here for a few years and we sell the company.

“UNLIMITED BANDWIDTH” For the applications you develop for us.

“DOWNTOWN PARKING WITHIN WALKING DISTANCE TO ARENA, CONVENTION CENTER, SHORT NORTH” Your presence limited to Chestnut Street 9 to 5 M-F and occasionally on weekends and late evenings.

“PERSONALIZED EMAIL ACCOUNT!” @innovapartners.com

“YOUR SERVERS IN THE BEST DATACENTER IN THE MIDWEST” If you’re part of our networking team.

“DELL OPTIPLEX GX270” Must be kept on-site and used to develop applications or manage network. Previous owner switched to a Mac.

“FREE LUNCH” Your Grandpa was wrong, there really is such a thing as a free lunch…. if you work here.”

“APPLE 30-INCH CINEMATIC LCD SCREEN” When you’re in Matt’s office.

“DOWNTOWN BOMB SHELTER” In our basement, if you take a laptop… and code PHP.

Even more outlandish, but I’m on a roll:

“HAIR STYLING CONSULTATIONS” By Dan.

“HELP WITH YOUR DEPTH PERCEPTION!” Jon the General, at your service.

“FASHION CONSULTANT” Genuine European pumps up your sloppy American style (asking for phrases in British accent is extra).

“WATER CUPS” Courtesy of Matt.

“GERMAN LESSONS” Kent will be your guide to the umlaut!

“REAL WEIGHT LOSS WITHOUT PILLS OR EXERCISE” Through anorexia, Chris will show you how!

That was fun. Can you think of some?